nan | 楠木

    去年这个时候正郁闷着，处于一个否定自己以及非常迷茫的阶段。

    没想到一年后的如今，又处于了类似的境地，只不过这次更不爽。

    我不喜欢自己已经确定了一个方向以后，不断有人跳出来否定我的选择。尤其如果是家人，让我实在是难受。因为我鼓起勇气放弃一些机会，为了能够赢得自己想要的一些机会，这于我已经不易，然而家人似乎并不能够理解。或者说，他们仍在出于对我的关心而不断的对我施加压力。

    然而我此时最需要的，是他们的支持。所谓支持，很简单，就是他们要相信我自己的判断力，不要总是压迫我，而让我能够全身心地去做我应该做的事情。我在学校，已经承受足够多的压力了，不需要更多的压力来刺激神经，而却非常需要有人给我打气加油。

    唉，其实那天也做好了最坏情况的打算。怕什么，我还年轻，至少现在我目标比较明确了，有了一个理想的5年发展规划，这比去年的我强多了。更远的路，我依然看不清，不过我至少目前清楚我喜欢做什么。

    说起去年这个时候，那的确是个郁闷期，然而在十一终于柳暗花明，乃至凤凰涅磐。所谓涅磐，无非是终于对一些事情想开了，把注意力转移到了GRE上，并顺利地两周突击拿下高分。这件事情，一年之后的如今，我依然觉得是很帅的。

    因此我想，一年一个轮回，今年十一，我又该觉醒了。

P.S. 一点题外话，我靠本blog诞生一年多以来终于有篇文章上了水木blog首页推荐了。。。感动啊，感谢snakehsu网友的推荐。。。哦对了，感谢CCTV。。。

晚上刚听了BBC的podcast，孤陋寡闻地首次听说了这个MBTI测试。

之后就看到一个链接，于是我也做了一个。

MBTI16种人格类型简版报告

您的人格类型是： ESFP (外向，感觉，情感，知觉)

    这几天闹得沸沸扬扬的退学事件的主人公，我竟也有幸是认识的。或许因为多少打过一些交道，所以这件事我看起来可以更冷静一些，不会一下子被bbs的讨论搞得头脑发热而盲目地选择了立场。

    出于对他的尊重，我不打算借此机会回顾一番我和他的交往。我们一同在协会做过一些事情，仅此而已。共事的经历，让我觉得他是一个对事情自然有一股热情的人。有时会觉得他有点像个大孩子――第一次听说他是博士生，我吓了一跳，说你看起来好年轻啊。

    那时只知道他念得是CS，恕我愚昧，我一直不知道他这么牛。或许因此评价会客观？因为我猜想支持他的人，其中想必有一些是欣赏乃至崇拜他的才能的，而反对他的人或许也包含了对其所热爱的Linux与Tex不屑的人（认为这不是学术研究）。

    退学这件事情，在我看来，问题不在于什么是真正的研究，也不在于他和他导师关系如何等等。这根本就是一个关于理想主义的案例。以我们这些向世俗妥协了的人，是不能够理解的。

    譬如说，有人评价，哪里做研究不都是要靠paper，不都是看文章数，因此讥笑主人公的可笑。说这种话的前提是，你业已接受了这个学术体系，或多或少地已经认同了这种学术体系下的价值评定方法与价值观，而事件的主人公显然没有。如果说，他出国后学术环境继续令他失望，那么，我相信他会继续做出选择。

    举凡不肯向世界低头的人，我们这些已经低下头的人都会有些恐慌的。其实内心深处，我们或多或少也存在着对现实的种种不爽，可我们要么是不敢讲――怕遭到打压，要么就是不愿讲――是既得利益者。我们会恐慌，因为他们做了我们不敢或不愿做的事情，我们或者害怕他们因为他们的不妥协而活得有意义――这样便否定了我们当初低头的选择，或者害怕因为他们的努力而使世界被改变――我们赖以享受的规则和制度被他们打破。

    因为我们恐慌，所以我们会跳出来说，这个世界就是这样残酷的，你最好还是接受吧。或者干脆骂，你以为自己是圣贤吗？我们幸灾乐祸地看着他们做出头鸟，一个个地被棒打，而对于那些幸存下来的，我们总心存着某种复杂而矛盾的心理，一方面似乎有些景仰他们如此活着，一方面似乎又恶毒地希望他们也倒下去，证明我们的正确。

    其实照我说，这一切都没必要。根本不是同路人，又何必吵吵嚷嚷的？别人的遭遇与下场，我们真的那么关心、在乎么？说到底，我们还是在惧怕自己的观念被别人的事实所否定吧。其实那又何妨，我们已经选择了，那我们就按照自己的选择走，就像主人公这样的人会沿着他们的理想走。

    最后，祝福王垠。希望你可以过得让自己开心。只有自己才可以评价自己活得幸不幸福。

It’s a bit late in the day to rate this summer of 2003 action flick, but still, I was feeling a bit down and in need of some serious action, which led to this subsequent viewing.
I have not seen the original Bad Boys, so I am unable to comment on the relationship between the sequel and the original. From my impression of the sequel, this is only a simple nonsensical action film.
There appears to be a lot of Lethal Weapon influence, or I am mistaken. The slap slick comedy between the two leads, Martin Lawrence and Will Smith, is repetitive and can only be taken at face value, a quick laugh and nothing more.
The action, at least, is solid, with an unusually intense high way chase as one of the star points of the film. However, the film is unnecessarily grotesque, with a lot of emphasis on gore (involving a lot of dead bodies being mutilated). This sometimes takes out the entertainment of the action, and I at least am averse to it.
The film’s length, is to be criticized also. Two and a half hours of relentless action and base comedy can be very tiring, and towards the end I was seriously bored.
5 out of 10.

T3, on the first viewing, actually managed to totally blow me away during the first half. The action was fast and intense, and in some scenes–the crane sequence–truly mesmerizing.
On a second viewing, the action fails to impress me as much, whereas the various loopholes and bits of misdirection scream out for attention. This is a seriously flawed film, but what redeems it from becoming a totally forgetable summer action flick is the high standard of its action and the various parts which bring up feelings of nostalgia.
In many ways, this film pays homage to what has now become classics in their own right–the original Terminator and T2. The various nods of respect, scattered across the whole length of the film, while sometimes far too obvious and cheesy, succeeds in bringing back good old memories.
In its own right, T3 is a solid action film, but the plotholes sometimes undermine the entire effort. The ending is interesting, but not really spectacular.
For Arnie’s sake, 8 out of 10.

    大四就是不一样。

    所有课都是倒数几排坐的满满的。

    大家平日里不是在为推研奔波就是在玩电脑。

    班里新近流行打台球。最火的一天，据说只要是开着的电脑，画面都是一样的。

    下周要大规模退课了。

The most comments that I saw, prior to viewing Crash, was that it was an interesting film. A lot of coincidences to generate room for thought.
And indeed the film does contain a lot of room for thought. This is a film that, instead of trying to come up with answers, only devotes to asking questions. The focus is on the diversified cultures of society. The audience is shown conflicts between people with different backgrounds–Caucasians, Hispanics, African Americans, Oriental Asians, Middle Easterners–and many of these conflicts seem so absurd and easily provoked. But the reason for their occurence, is not simply a language barrier or cultural background–instead, it would be perhaps more appropriate to say that unjustified fear plays a much bigger part.
The ensemble cast is without doubt eye catchy, and most of them deliver solid and convincing performances. The plot is fairly well written, with lots of drama and coincidences that are meant for the audience to think about. Perhaps giving it a 9 is overjudging it somewhat, but this film is just the type that I’m really attracted to.
9 out of 10.

In no order:

1. Spending a hour and a half on the bus just to see you for 5 minutes.

2. Let you drag me around, to wherever you go.

3. Writing GRE issues that are giving you headaches.

4. Listen to you talk about things you love and which I know nothing of.

5. Going to Haagen-Dazs for ice-cream.

6. Stay up late to chat with you, even though I can hardly keep my eyes open.

7. Agreeing to every suggestion you make.

8. Spend all my SMS monthly quota on you.

9. Still let you drag me around, after being together for so long.

10. Waste as much time as possible just watching you.