nan | 楠木

There’s something sad yet poetically beautiful about aging. It’s a fact of life that everyone needs to come to terms with. Nothing in this world lasts forever, perhaps the least of which being our flesh. Aging, therefore, brings us a new perspective upon this world, but what that perspective is could be wildly different for different people, and even different for the same person at various stages of his/her life.

For instance, as we age and gain experience, we could learn to avoid our mistakes. We learn to be more cautious, more wary of things that look too good to be true. Painful memories of past hurts construct an invisible shield, protecting us from future harm.

But these shields also block out what could be some of the most beautiful and authentic feelings in life, and distort our goals and priorities. We become pragmatic, and pursue material goals instead of ideals and dreams. Thankfully, aging gives us another chance – a last chance – later in life, when we could reflect and understand what the most important things in life truly are.

Apologies for the above offbeat musings aside, Last Chance Harvey, as the title suggests, is about Harvey (Dustin Hoffman) and his “last chance” to make something out of his life. Harvey is a mildly successful commercial music producer, but his career is facing a crisis. His personal life is disastrous, as he is flying off to London from New York to attend his daughter’s wedding, only to find that he is positioned as an outsider by his ex-wife, and that his daughter has asked her stepfather instead of him to participate in the ceremony.

At perhaps the lowest point of his life, he meets the equally hapless Kate (Emma Thompson), who has the thankless job of surveying travellers at Heathrow airport (she works for the Public Statistics Service). Kate is way past the age of “young”, but still hasn’t started a family, and her mom is “peculiar” to say the least ever since her father ran off to continental Europe with his secretary.

Of course, judging from the look and feel of the poster above, you can guess that Harvey and Kate hit it off. It’s a fragile relationship, unrealistic from the word go, but somehow by the end of the film’s 90 minutes, the couple has found a way to face their true emotions. And this is where aging comes in – for both of them, there is an subtle sense of urgency, a feeling of “this or never”, and they share a common view of what matters to them most.

Last Chance Harvey is not a melodramatic love epic. Its premise is simple. It works because of the strong leads and the great dialogue. Their feelings and emotions are sincere and authentic, and this old pair shows the audience what love could and should be – and how poetic it is.

8/10

Frost/Nixon is Ron Howard’s dramatic retelling of British journalist and TV presenter David Frost’s interviews of former US President Richard Nixon in 1977. Howard obviously has very good material on his hands (the film is an adaptation of the play by Peter Morgan), and with the support of an excellent ensemble cast, delivers a top-notch studio production.

The film is satisfying as a tense political drama (thriller almost). British actor Michael Sheen (he played Tony Blair in The Queen) skillfully portrays David Frost, a talented, ambitious and flamboyant media man, whose Nixon project is looked upon as a joke by his media peers (and which the Nixon camp is hoping to leverage to stage a come-back). For Frost, the stakes are high – what had started simply as a bold idea to revive his US TV prospects developed into a win-or-lose-all fight for his entire career.

Frank Langella’s Nixon will surely be compared to Anthony Hopkins’ attempt in Oliver Stone’s biopic. Here we see a growling, lonely old man who still craves for power and influence, and whose sheer will and spirit, as well as self-reflection revealed in a few powerfully emotional scenes, will be hard not to win sympathy from the audience (indeed, the film has been criticized by some as over-sympathetic towards Nixon).

8/10

今年有一部电影想看，就是在Sundance电影节上颇有光彩的rom-com 500 Days of Summer. 套用一下这个电影的片名，写一个工作总结吧，因为今天，5月27日，将是我目前这份工作的最后一天。

倘若回忆，一个适当的起点总是必要的。对我来说那个起点是2005年夏天里的一天，参加一个比赛的赛前培训，一位北大微电子的师兄（我是清华电子，所以专业相同也算是“同门”吧）侃侃而谈，提到了他找工作的经历，而他的最终选择便是我现下这家公司。那是我第一次听说这家公司。

几个月后，找工作的历程开始。因为各种原因将咨询视作主要目标。这家公司是第一个给我面试机会的公司，一见钟情是“必须的”，公司的每一个面试官兼未来同事都给我颇佳印象。其间其它的公司也陆续面了一些，进展也有非常顺利的，但当这家公司给了我offer的时候，基本上没有怎么犹豫就接受了——那大约是05年11月的事情。

05年底应邀去上海参加圣诞晚会，也适逢上海新办公室开张，第一次见到公司的众多同事。那一年我是北京本地招的唯一本科，上海则有三位，都是美女，Iris, Lois和Olivia. （后来一直没有什么机会跟她们一起做项目，我对此一直耿耿于怀。）在圣诞晚会上我非常雷人的选择讲笑话作为我的节目，真的很雷很雷。

06年7月31日，是我上班第一天。那一天对于我生活各个方面来说，都发生了许多变化，都是一个新的开始。早上因为有点别的事情，到公司到的非常早，我至今还记得自己特意在楼下的咖啡厅坐了一会儿才上去。上班第一天就上了一个很大的项目，快速消费品（零食），一做就要到07年春节。上班第二天就严重迟到，在东北四环刚过四元桥去往霄云路的那个辅路的口，足足堵了一个小时，因而大老板的会直接迟到大半截。客户在南四环，曾经有一段时间每天从北四环到南四环，打的单程100块钱。那个项目能够与很多大牛同事合作，得到了诸位大牛的指导。团队里面的大多数人都已经不在公司了，读书，跳到client，跳到其它firm，各种情况都有。当时各个时间点上曾经在团队上的人，有北京、东京、旧金山和新加坡的同事，从partner往下点个名，有John, Sebastian, Clarissa, Sumie, Angela, Wee Pang, Terry, 崔总, Pamela, Felicia, Xiang，我。大阵仗，不知道有没有漏掉谁。。。

06年10月，在北京做boot camp和regional orientation. Boot Camp的时候第一次见到Torsten总，当时他振振有词要军事化管理，要早上8点来叫大家起床晨练，我们于是便对这位德国光头颇有忌惮，后来才知道T总是颇刀子嘴豆腐心的，晨练的事情始终没有发生，最后party的时候坦白说是他自己玩太high睡过了。Boot Camp跟我一队的是Iris, 一沛还有睿禧，对于一沛这位比我还正宗的绅士（Oxford+Cambridge的教育背景摆在那儿），我尤为钦佩，尤其是其在办公室楼下被出租车把脚压了还若无其事等事迹，至今历历在目啊。RO说实话印象不太深了，远没有boot camp印象深，只记得开了很多会，在京城各处吃了几顿大餐。

那个项目一直做到07年春节。春节回来，好像晃悠了一段时间，三月就被发配菲律宾了。与一沛作伴，那个电信项目因为项目上的变故，我只做了一个月就被遣返北京了。项目上的人也是大多不在公司了，点个名Partner有David和Tony，项目组是Anand, Due, Olivier, Haydee, Jan, 一沛。

回到北京，跟新同事榕榕做了一个小项目，支持日本的一个DD，对中国的丝绸工业做了一个一周的研究。那应该是07年4月的事情。

之后大概从07年5月吧，做了一个半年的项目，体育行业。又一个大项目，前前后后项目上的人有John, Torsten, 丁总，Thierry, 孙总，崔总，Terry, Michelle, Allison, 榕榕，夏天还有个美国来的实习生Jennifer。这个项目有几段时间比较挣扎，我第一次发现自己也有脾气非常火爆的时候，跟孙总有几次非常热烈的讨论。后来意识到热烈讨论是应该的，带情绪就是不对的，为此还专门跟孙总道歉了一番，孙总是清华老学长，当然从来就没有跟我一般见识哈哈。这个项目客户比较大方，喜欢带我们出去开会，一次在长城脚下的公社（John当年婚礼好像是在那儿办的），一次在香山饭店。

07年底好像稍稍休息了一下，哦不对，12月做了一个3周的DD，调查对象是一个媒体公司。Torsten出马谁与争锋，项目组还有广海，Xiang, Michelle, Felicia, 睿禧。有机会看一个中小企业（一年不到10亿的销售额）的老总怎样激情四射地讲解自己的商业发展规划，并对他的新想法做了很多论证。

08年1月便去了印度，两个月的项目，电子消费品。项目上的人有Kheehong, Nanhee, Gagan, Terry, Anshul, Sanjana. 因为我的名字跟印度当地的食品naan发音完全相同，被开无数次玩笑。在印度有机会稍微转了转，除了在德里工作，还去了东南的Chennai以及东北部共产党执政的加尔各答，旅游去了泰姬陵，Rajastan和Goa的海边。在Goa 5点起来去看海边日出，方才意识到我们在西海岸，是没有海上日出看的。春节是在印度过的，深刻领悟到印度的中餐和中国的印度菜一样，都是极不正宗的。

3月从印度回来。5月去印尼，3个月的项目，农业。Maarten, Torsten, Eduardo, Shreyans, Felicia, James, Lois. 最难忘的是一次到Central Java省做访谈，司机在山路上疾驰，而当时山里突然起了大雾，能见度不到10米。嗯，还有一个印象深刻的，就是雅加达夜总会包着头巾的穆斯林女生，也一样玩得很high。印尼是全世界人口最多的穆斯林国家，但也差不多是最开放的穆斯林国家。——嗯，不对，其实最难忘的应该是到印尼的第二天就是5月12日。

8月奥运正如火如荼的时候，我从印尼回来了。此后便有一搭没一搭地准备商学院申请。本来没有觉得很紧迫，而且公司里的同事大多都是4年去读的，像我这样三年申的在过去几年算是少数吧。然而9月雷曼倒闭，经济形势陡然恶化，我便有了很大的危机感。申请力度陡然加大，本来只打算最多申三所，现在决定扩大面积，不过round 1只申了一所，如今依然很难评价这个决定。

12月我round 2申请正苦的时候，却上了项目，5周，电子消费品，在北京。Kheehong, Junghee, Dong-hoon, Hyung Woo, Tim, Iris. 那个项目本来就做得有点挣扎，当时心理压力又很大。有一段时间是白天工作15个小时晚上再做几个小时的申请，睡觉的时间当然就没有什么了。当然这样的生活是难以为继的，不过总算是一个deadline一个deadline的熬过来了，当然，申请的质量肯定是打了折扣的，工作的表现我也颇不满意。

项目于春节前完成。申请的面试，要到3月初才做完。春节回来以后，没有再上项目，而是一直在跟着Angela做marketing，倒也算是放松了一段时间吧。

从06年7月31日到09年5月27日，如果我的软件没有算错的话，是1033天。与日后的职业生涯相比，或许这1033天只能算做一个小小的起点。对于公司，无论我们平时有何种褒贬，我想我是很感激的，给了我很多机会，给了我自由发挥的空间，给了我足够的支持与辅导，而且最重要的是认识了很多要好的朋友——顺境逆境都会站在我身边的朋友。这真的是一家奇特的公司，大家的交情让我有时会觉得还是在校园。

深夜憋长文，最后的倦怠以及虎头蛇尾总是无可避免。新生活即将开始。1033天的咨询顾问生活，可能是终点也可能仅仅是中点，然而无论何种情形这段经历都是宝贵的财富。青春当歌，愿这段记忆与萌生的友谊永存心底。

High Noon has very high esteem in the world of westerns, and even in the bigger realm of film history as well. Gary Cooper won an Oscar for his performance as the lone hero, Marshal Will Kane. The film is text-book material for black-and-white cinematography, and I would also comment that the film’s “real time” element (where the film’s 85 minutes tells the story of Will Kane’s an hour and a half on a Sunday morning) was 24 before Kiefer Sutherland was even born.

All the praise aside, this is not really my kind of western though. Perhaps the film’s values are a bit dated, but the whole story appears relatively tame and (childishly) unrealistic. But maybe that’s because my own taste for westerns had always been heavily influenced by Clint Eastwood’s body of work – I have a natural inclination for films where the protagonist is a man with real faults instead of a saintly figure, and is put through hard ordeals before getting his reward. In other words, I like gritty, dark westerns, instead of swashbuckling, melodramatic ones. High Noon unfortunately falls closer to the latter category.

But really, this is a matter of style and presentation. Gary Cooper’s protagonist is by most standards the definitive hero. He doesn’t need to stay and fight, and the is swimming against the tide with no one by his side. But he does it anyway. He does it because he holds morals and values above life, and he doesn’t know any other way to live but to stand tall whatever the odds. This makes him stand out against the rest of his fellow-men, who are cowards regardless of being friend or foe. This may very well be a social metaphor for the times, since the 1950s was the era of McCarthyism and Hollywood was certainly a battleground.

I have little misgivings about the character; I just didn’t like the presentation very much. The “real time” element works well in building tension – every clock in the film took on an ominous meaning as the harbinger of doom – and the symbolic montage as noon arrived is certainly a classic one minute of film, but other than that I found the film somewhat dreary and lacking in suspense. I know I’m judging the film against decades of storytelling evolution whereby Hollywood has since mastered the art of delivering action-packed thrills, and therefore is being inherently biased, but I couldn’t help feeling how slow sometimes the film was, and the action sequences just didn’t deliver enough satisfaction compared to the previous hour of build-up narrative. At the end of the day, I guess what I mean is that this film just hasn’t aged well (e.g. watch Dr. No and compare it to the latest Bond film, it’s really hard to say the first film was a good film in any regard.)

7/10

最近在读吴晓波的《激荡三十年》。这部关于当代的编年史，题材又是与时代主题最贴近的中国经济，读来当然是非常容易令人感慨万千、心潮澎湃的。

倘若简单归纳书中反复凸显的主题，那便是，中国改革开放三十年来在市场经济上的制度摸索，以及国有、外资与民营的三方博弈。由于中国独特的政治、历史背景，这场世人瞩目的改革与“经济奇迹”，其过程充满了进一步退两步的曲折与新旧力量的对峙，乃至无数的灰色地带。

譬如说，企业的产权，成为了过去三十年来绊倒了无数国内企业家的巨石。走在改革前沿企业家以自己的能力与创新去击破僵滞的生产力，按理应得到相应的酬劳，然而模糊的产权归属最终迫使他们一个个“铤而走险”，在法律与政策的灰色地带游走。资本的原始积累注定是灰色而血腥的，被拿来祭旗的企业家恐怕也的确个个“劣迹斑斑”，然而“闯关”成功的人似乎更多的也是靠运气和机遇而非自身的“清白”。于是问题的根本便在于无法可依与政策的暧昧，而这后面的“局”其溯源便是社会制度与意识形态层面的东西，是所有制等姓“社”还是姓“资”的历史问题的后续。

民营企业在三十年中的遭遇，便饱经这种“局”的困扰。作为中国经济增长的重要动力，民营资本却长时间遭到打压，乃至国有与外资的联手打击。这个结果看似荒谬，其出现却是种种利益较量的必然结果。民营企业融资难，这恐怕是个谈了二十年的话题，而至今似乎也没有什么改观，地下钱庄似乎仍然是主要的渠道。

作为描述改革开放的编年史，政治无疑是个敏感的话题，而作者最终采用了避重就轻的方法。一些对于中国影响深远的事件，在书中并未涉及。这也可以理解，毕竟作者与改革中的民营企业家一样，都是在灰色与暧昧的地带如履薄冰，这便是中国改革最大的国情。

Cool Hand Luke is one of Paul Newman’s signature films. The film is of an anti-establishment theme, portraying the life of “southern road gangs” (convicts who built and maintained roads). Newman’s titular character, Luke, is a “war hero” who is sent to prison because of damaging public property while under influence (a starkly comical opening scene).

At the camp, Luke finds his fellow inmates to be a bunch of losers who have petty dreams and obediently listens to orders. The gang is lead by Dragline (George Kennedy in a Oscar-winning role, well deserved), a rowdy but sincere illiterate country-man. Dragline dislikes the new kid with the instinctively rebelious heart – and their continuous friction eventually results in a fair round of boxing. Luke is no match for Drag, who is so much bigger than him; but Luke never gives up, and begrudgingly wins Drag’s respect with his big heart. In turn, they become best friends, with Drag taking Luke under his wings and fondly calling him “my boy”.

Luke seems to be content with prison life – he longs for physical freedom, but he is able to find enjoyment in the trivialities (for example handily winning a bet that he can eat 50 eggs in an hour – one of the film’s most memorable scenes). And his soul was free. However, when Luke gets news of his mother’s passing, he starts to become restless. He now yearns for real freedom – and for the remaining half of the film, it is a struggle between his will and the social authorities that imprisons him.

In many ways, Luke is a recurring character in films. Jack Nicholson would have a similar role 8 years later, as R.P. McMurphy in One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest; another decade later, Tim Robbins would win the world over as Andy Dufresne in The Shawshank Redemption. There are definitely similarities to be drawn. These films all feature a rebelious and brave character – the definitive protagonist really – that just wouldn’t back down from the world’s absurd rules and brazen injustices; and their narratives, regardless of whether the protagonist “wins” or “loses” at the end, all force the audience to reflect on what is “normal” and what is “right”, and makes us ponder whether we are cowards at heart or willing to stand up when common sense – and not “social norms” – tells us that something is wrong.

And these films all have a fantastically talented actor at their career best. Paul Newman is an actor that I have not had the privilege of seeing more, and I am fascinated by his depth, diversity and intensity. This film is so much his personal stage – and in every scene he is simply outstanding.

8/10

看了HBO关于5·12四川地震的纪录片《劫后天府泪纵横》。纪录片素材拍摄于5月22日至6月1日的十天时间里，那是一个很微妙的时间点，HBO的外国摄影团队抓住了地震后中国官方罕见的对外国媒体采访非常宽松的这个“稍纵即逝”的机会，在更严厉的媒体管制开始前拍到了许多宝贵的一手资料。

按照豆瓣上的介绍，摄制组的初衷是拍一部关于地震的科教片。然而抵达灾区后，他们立刻感受到了当地因灾情而浮出水面的社会矛盾，进而决定改变采访方向。

39分钟的纪录片，基本上是围绕富新小学遇难学生的家长们的上访展开。家长们质疑学校是豆腐渣工程，要为孩子讨说法；然而灾后十天，当地政府没有做出回应。他们于是要到省里上访，这个过程中出现了有名的“下跪书记”蒋国华。上访换来了德阳市领导的下访，然而在敏感的学校质量问题上，政府的态度是暧昧的。家长此后被禁止在学校集会；每个家庭发放了6万元抚恤金，但被要求不能再上访；专家调查的结果至今没有公布。

其实纪录片里的事件，公众或许早已知道。然而画面的力量，是远强于文字的描绘的，家长们的悲愤，令人窒息。另外，纪录片里面的许多片段中，各种各样的人物说出来的话，让人对于中国人的性格与观念，当然还有中国社会的种种问题，会有许多思考。

独生子女政策，地方上涉嫌贪污腐败而造成的豆腐渣学校，以及一场惊天意外，给当地人带来了外人难以体会的悲剧。然而这究竟是天灾，还是人祸？

今天很无聊地看了家公司，有点想法，随便说两句。（我不是搞证券研究的，所以纯属业余扯淡。）

在《财经》上注意到，4月份两家中国公司在海外上市，银基集团是其中之一。孤陋寡闻，没听说过这家公司，把招股说明书下来看了一番。

主营业务是烟酒的经销，其中，95%的营业额是五粮液的海内外销售。另外5%是在大陆代理Diageo旗下的一个洋酒牌子，以及一点点香烟出口业务。比较奇怪的是，这家公司是家纯粹的中间经销商，资产非常少，没有实体店面（没有自己的零售网络）。也就是说，公司的业务就是作为中间商，“倒卖”五粮液。

公司大概依仗的是中国零售概念。招股说明书里的行业介绍也把不少笔墨放在了常规的中国消费者可支配收入的增长与消费升级。然而此前的零售概念股，比如说做鞋类零售的百丽，做体育产品的李宁、安踏，综合的零售商（百货、超市公司）等等，都是有些“实实在在”的业务能力的——百丽等公司有庞大的零售网络与零售运作经验；即便是轻资产模式的李宁，也是有强大的品牌、营销与产品设计能力的。而这家银座集团，作为产业链的一个绝对的中间商，其业务的核心能力难道就是上与五粮液、下与全国各地二级经销商的关系？

总之，没有看懂这家公司。如其招股说明风险分析部分所言，这家公司是有很多很多运营风险的。

另外，对于公司的下一步发展，也没有太看懂。招股书中表示，集资款项的24%用于扩展渠道网络，20%用于广告、市场拓展营销费用。说实话没有明白这里面的关系，难道五粮液的广告投放是由经销商运作的？搞得我一头雾水。

如果有明白的达人，欢迎指教！

最近不平静的事情比较多。还有一个多小时，就是汶川地震一周年。那一天，我刚刚抵达印尼。在一个陌生的土壤，听到祖国的不幸，情绪是很容易激动的。

其实最近一段时间，从四川传来的各种声音，都多少有些揪心。四川一些官员的言行，令希望了解真相与责任的民众难以平静。不想去整理这方面的东西，在twitter上可以找到很多，这些东西不是自上而下想封杀就可以封杀的。

今天twitter上的中文推友们自发地以#512来标记悼念，讨论已经很多了。——于是觉得，或许这一年来，最令人欣慰的变化是，社会性媒体的崛起，正在给中国社会带来积极的变化，让人多了几分对社会进步的信心。除了地震所引出的诸多问题的后续发展（如艾未未等对于要求公布学生名单的努力），近期便又有杭州#70km事件——放之于5年前，或许这个事情就被压下去了；而如今很难。

不想多说了。今天应该大脑一片空白地度过。死者长已矣，默哀。